Porter Ranch is in the Northwest portion of the San Fernando Valley, which is a part of Northridge, which is also a part of the City of Los Angeles.

Today's "News:"

Food riots erupt throughout Porter Ranch.  Thousands of police officers called to quell the uprising.  Starvation is everywhere.  People are beaten just for a bag of potato chips.

Robberies and gunfire are rampant throughout the community.  Nobody is safe.

Gangsters rule the streets.  Anyone brave enough to go outside to even get their mail should be awarded a medal.

Graffiti is everywhere.  Most homes are tagged nightly.

Street races are on all major roads daily.  Thousands are run over.  Human body parts are found everywhere.

Violence is on the rise.  But considering that it's violent 100% of the time in Porter Ranch, one should feel lucky that it probably can't go up much more.

Communicable diseases are widespread.  Backed-up sewage and piled-high garbage are everywhere.   Clouds of flies and other pests.  Animal dung is so deep in most places that you could drown in it.